May 2012
2 posts
strong, independent bold & sometimes outspoken not afraid of adventure not afraid of giving that’s what i want to be like how could i not i was raised on anne of green gables & the writings of louisa may alcott women full of fire and determination loving in a selfless, unafraid sort of way passionate about things that matter helping people and learning more about life striving to...
“a gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit” Proverbs 15:4 this, i’ve been feeling the truth of it.
April 2012
2 posts
my friend was just talking about the happiest day of her life or at least, the first one that comes to mind and i asked if the happiest day and the best day were the same and she said no and i said mine wouldn’t be the same either and then i was thinking about what i would say my happiest day is and what i would consider the best day or maybe just a day with some of the best moments and not...
“here are the two best prayers i know: “help me, help me, help me,” and “thank you, thank you, thank you.”“ —anne lamott, traveling mercies i’ve been ricocheting between the two of these all day.
March 2012
3 posts
i’m glad i was awake and i’m glad you are alive
i was reading a post i wrote awhile ago about how people cry when somethings wrong, but sometimes i cry when things are right and then i thought of when i almost cried watching you on the streets break dancing as someone played the drums a kind of drum i don’t know the name of & a couple plastic buckets turned over to use as well and the family was standing outside of the cheesecake...
drops of jupiter, train
February 2012
5 posts
for one of my classes i’m supposed to be thinking of God in female pronouns i’m glad i’ve almost finished the shack because it’s easier for me to imagine God as a mother when i read someone else’s descriptions but it’s still hard because “he” as a gender neutral term isn’t really neutral but it’s still so normalized and i just texted my...
i’m going to start carrying a notebook around with me wherever i go i always have little things i want to write down & remember like that time the man gave me his bus transfer as i sat at the bus stop or when, after a couple months of saying hey, i finally found out the homeless man’s name who stands outside of rite aid he goes by frenchie all i could think about was grease or how...
“only fear the Lord and serve him faithfully with all your heart. for consider what great things he has done for you.” 1 samuel 12:24
“you are true, you are true even in my wandering”
January 2012
4 posts
sometimes i read something or see a picture or watch a movie and i want to cry and sometimes it’s from laughing that kind is always nice and laughter is crazy and everyone laughs differently at different things, but when we all laugh at the same thing somehow it brings us together in a new way last night we were watching the matrix and this person was over who i haven’t ever laughed...
auniversewithmeaning:
“I cannot choose but weep because my tears are the only prayer I know.” -Heidi McElrath
this quarter is going to challenge me in crazy ways academically, i am taking the hardest course that exists for my major emotionally, i’ve already cried more in the past twenty-four hours than i did total last quarter relationally, i will have to be much more intentional because i’m busy, my friends are busy, and life is crazy spiritually, i will have to cling to the promises of Jesus...
December 2011
1 post
November 2011
1 post
i miss priming. & making designs in the plaster on the walls. & telling you to paint the ceilings because you were tall, but really i wanted you to work harder & i didn’t want to paint the ceilings myself. i miss screaming at a spider while php was happening right outside our window. & seeing spongebob in russian every morning. & saying “priviet pizza” &...
October 2011
1 post
this weekend has been one of those ones where i’m full of emotion i’m breaking down i’m having difficult conversations with people being called out on stuff by people i wish knew how much i loved them experiencing the brokenness of society firsthand and in a threatening situation my heart breaking for the person who everyone else was turned against the person who everyone else...
September 2011
2 posts
i was so encouraged by our conversation yesterday especially talking about God and our summers i asked you what the biggest thing you learned about God/life/people was this summer and you said “oh wow” and took some time to think about it you finally looked at me and said that there were two things first, that no matter what you’re going through or how much you don’t think...
August 2011
5 posts
ukrainian related things i don’t want to forget: nutella aka vatali aka my first & last ukrainian crush “prime time” aka i am the captain of priming php aka pasha house party RUSSLE aka the guy with the beard diputat aka dip n dot aka the president aka demitri aka my husband valik aka the best playing mafia on the bus ride back to kiev—& the decision between eli and...
i miss being around people who are ready for an adventure even if it’s just going to the grocery store
i’m almost done reading the last harry potter book i should have read them years ago but i’ve read them all this summer & now i’m chapters away from finishing the series & yet, i’ve been avoiding the book all day i’ve had plenty of time to read but instead i thought about cleaning my room, read through the cards & letters that were sent to me last year at...
July 2011
2 posts
i think i just want to feel alive more than anything i want to live fully i want to live adventurously i want to laugh & run & paint i enjoy being in new places & seeing things that i’ve never seen before being exposed to a new culture laughing with new friends learning bits & pieces of a new language growing i want this trip to stretch me to cause me to grow closer to God...
the next week of my life: monday night-
6-10: last baseball game of the homestand. finally.
1030-sleep: finish harry potter book four
tuesday-
12-5: work
6-8: dinner with old bible study group
9: skype
wednesday-
get harry potter five, six, & seven from library
go journal shopping & find an atlas/map
watch the bachelorette
pack & read & finish packing
630:...
June 2011
2 posts
summer is making me day dream which is natural, i suppose, when my days are no longer consumed with note taking & sitting through lectures i’m looking at blogs and i want to go to europe & live in new york city & walk with confidence & read thoreau but at the same time i just want to lay outside in the sunshine, under a tree or walk around holding hands with somebody with no...
God is so faithful. i know i say that a lot. but it’s the thing i’ve learned this past year that has changed my life the most. and i am not done learning it, not in the slightest. but God has drawn me so much closer to him by revealing to me, in small ways, just how great & loving & faithful he is. he’s been faithful through the most difficult friendship i’ve...
May 2011
1 post
April 2011
2 posts
“patient persistence pierces through indifference; gentle speech breaks down rigid defenses.”
proverbs 25:15, the message
God is just really good he is faithful beyond belief his grace gives me hope and joy that overflows into tears he’s working in my heart and my life and opening my eyes to the ways in which he is present. there is a beautiful picture in ezekiel 37:1-14 about how he breathes life into things that have no life. he brings hope to those who feel dry. “breathe upon the slain, that they may...
March 2011
2 posts
sometimes i get disappointed i have dreams but i don’t give them enough credit because i’m not disciplined i feel no chance of actually reaching those goals and there’s so much i’m still learning and so many reasons to hope but i get discouraged and i get caught up in myself i’m so weak and i don’t have it all figured out i’ve been so blessed and...
“You are the God of the broken the friend of the weak You wash the feet of the weary embrace the ones in need and I want to be like you Jesus to have this heart in me You are the God of the humble You are the humble King”
February 2011
6 posts
i’ll love you even when it’s difficult i’ll love you even when you’re annoying or frustrating i’ll love you when you don’t appreciate me i’ll love you when you’re not intentional i’ll love you when you don’t share your life with me i’ll love you when you’re happy i’ll love you when you’re vulnerable i’ll love...
i don’t need you even when i couldn’t imagine my life here without you in it i didn’t actually need you i just wanted you wanted your friendship and your hugs and just your presence sometimes i wanted more, to be honest but sometimes i wanted less and there were times, i think, when i fooled myself into thinking that i did need you but i didn’t and i don’t and you...
David Crowder Band, Never Let Go
“Therefore, spiritual love proves itself in that everything it says and does commends Christ. it will not seek to move others by all too personal, direct influence, by impure interference in the life of another. it will not take pleasure in pious, human fervor and excitement. it will rather meet the other person with the clear Word of God and be ready to leave him alone with the Word for a...
“the message is clear: only trust in the presence of Jesus will enable believers to imitate him.” dr. nienhuis on matthew 14:22-31.
January 2011
3 posts
in one of my classes last quarter, we were talking about how there seem to be two authors of Genesis, in the Bible. they give different accounts of the creation story. the first one uses the hebrew word “Elohim” for God. the second uses “Adonai Elohim” for Lord God. the first account presents God as powerful. the second focuses on Him as being personal. in the first, God...
“love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. it does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful. it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. love never ends.” 1 Corinthians 13:6-8
December 2010
8 posts
“Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life - well, valuable, but...”
– you’ve got mail
my favorite thing about our conversation was when you told me how you felt more deeply than others. you’re empathic. you feel for people. you hear about the brokenness in the world and you feel it. you want to change it. and i loved that. i loved it because it’s how i want to be & mostly because it was a reflection of Jesus. it gave me hope, somehow. hope because if you, an...
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sometimes my heart breaks every day
i love people.